Intel: iPhone cant haz internet!

This storey is so dumb, you'll have to excuse the lolcat-speak in the title. At a development conference in Taiwan, Intel's VP Mobile Shane Wall used the keynote to talk about Intel's upcoming "Moorestown" platform, but mostly to slam Apple for using rival mobile platform ARM in the iPhone. "If you want to run full internet, you're going to have to run an Intel-based architecture," Wall said. Which might even be true technically, Moorestown may well have advantage over the older ARM platform. Not being that kind of engineer, I couldn't tell you. But the delivery is unbearably snotty. And this after Apple switches to Intel processors across its line of computers; a relationship that, among other things, resulted in the Atom processor and Intel being able to pretty much corner the market over rival AMD. Way to torpedo a good business relationship, Mr. Wall, I'm sure you'll get a nasty phone call from Steve Jobs. Either that or he'll go straight to your boss.

Speaking of Steve Jobs, the reports of his death are (still) greatly exaggerated. It seems that the rumour about Jobs having a heart attack started with an 18 year old you thought it would be a funny joke. Seriously. This out of the SEC investigation begur under the premise that the report was planted in order to manipulate Apple's stock price. Nope, turns out that just about any jackass can get though the vetting process for CNN's iReport site, and can say anything they think is funny with no one at CNN bothering to follow up.

In other news, that funky smell might be your laundry, or it could just be airborne nitrogen tetrafloride. Seems that this powerful greenhouse gas, which traps heat 17 000 times better than an equivalent mass of carbon dioxide, is four times more common in the atmosphere than previously thought. The gas is still rare, measured in parts per trillion in atmospheric samples, but is so potent that it may impact global warming models.

There are many kinds of geeks, but perhaps my favorite is the kind who will try to put Linux on anything, even if it is not evern a computer unless you take the word in very broad sense. Take, for example, Yellow Dog Linux for PlayStation 3. Oh yeah. And just like lawn gnomes, Linux hippies can turn up anywhere.

Skynet starts at home.

This last week saw a slew of Apple announcements and rumors. Not only did we see a refreshed Macbook line (*drool*) but there are rumors of new 20 and 24-inch iMacs. It is also rumored that the iPhone is going downmarket - way downmarket. Even further than Best Buy. Yep, all the way down to Wal-Mart. Huh? Somehow I did not think that rednecks were the iPhone's target market.

Those of us with desktops or home media servers in need of a storage boost can now pick up a 1.5 TB drive from Seagate for a paltry $200 US shipped. Since home servers with four bays are fairly easy to get, you could have 6 TB of storage for your home network - enough for over 1200 DVDs (uncompressed). Or you could get enough processing power and RAM to, along with all that storage, start building your very own Skynet. Whatever floats your boat.

I am Ironworm

National Geographic reports that a population of earthworms in the UK have evolved to eat heavy metal-laden waste at abandoned mining sites, rendering the foul goup inert. We always knew worms were tough, what with the not dying when cut in half and such, but such unusual metabolisms are more typical of bacteria than more complex organisms. The practical upshot is that the worms could be collected and used to clean up polluted areas around the world. Now were is that global warming fighting nematode?

EU trade laws continue to be amusing, with the busting last week of a group of companies that had allegedly formed a cartel to control the price of ... paraffin wax. WTF? I suppose this is not withour historical precident, the Canadian government was once in a cartel to control the prices of tin and nickel. Now it seems such behaviour will net you a 676 million Euro fine.

Now that our supplies of super-earthworms and wax are assured, perhaps we should look into coming up with a non-fossil fuel for jets. One of the hard truths about declining global oil reserves is that long before the oil actually ran dry, the last remaining reserves would have to be earmarked for aviation, as jet engines can't run on anything else becuase of energy-density, evaporative, and combustion property requirements. One project seeks to solve this problem with a form of biodeisel derived from algae. It seems that a lot of problems can be solved using primitive life forms (insert politician joke here).

Turning to a recurring theme on this blog, it is time to talk about Apple. It seems that, once again, reports of Steve Job's death are greatly exaggerated. This time it was a rumour coming out of CNN that Jobs had suffered a heart attack and had been rushed to hospital. Turns out that everyone's favourite turtlenecked CEO is just fine and never had any sort of medical emergency. The SEC is now investigating if the report was a deliberate attempt to manipulate Apple's share price, which briefly plunged following the report. Which is what happens when the economy is driven by fear and speculation rather than fact. It certainly does nothing for CNN's reputation with respect to responsible journalism.

In rat bastard news, a movie licensing group is demanding that Irish preschools pay a 3-euro per year per child fee to show Spongebob DVDs. It seems that the kids are alright, it is the grown-ups that do not play well with others.

And finally, on-line EULAs and privacy policies would cost $ 365 Billion a year in lost productivity... if anyone actually read them. I'm looking at you, Google. Shorten that puppy down.